14 Jan Courage – Why You Don’t Have It
Courage – Why You Don’t Have It
You’re going along in life and you’re successful but there’s the sentiment that you don’t really deserve what you have worked for. Yes, you’ve managed to achieve your goals: a business, house, nice holidays, and if you really break it down, it took hard work but it’s still hard to take any credit for it.
It’s like you’re an imposter in your own life. Not totally deserving of what you have. ‘If people knew what I’m really like, they would change their opinion of me’ and ‘It’s only a matter of time before I mess up and people find out the real me’. It makes you feel unsettled; you’re waiting for the good streak to come to an end. One day the money/prestige/status/luck will run out. You’re in fear a lot of the time because it feels like you don’t really know exactly how you got here so you’re not sure if you have what it takes to take the same steps again.
If you continue in this way, there is always a part of you that feels undeserving. And do you know what that creates? A never-ending sense that you can’t enjoy what you have. There’s no peace in life to sit and enjoy all the things you have worked for. There is always some unrest and that’s no way to celebrate what you have achieved.
What you want is to get to a place where you feel truly deserving of what you have worked for in your life. To know you have earned it. To dismiss the thoughts that tell you otherwise. When you are courageous enough to fully show up in your life, you will know you have earned this.
There was a time when I felt undeserving of my success. When I really delved into it, I realised that although I gave my all to my business, I did not give my all to myself. I did everything for the business but only evolved myself to a certain point within it. I lacked courage to do this. That is why my success felt undeserving. It’s a fine point of separation between giving your all to the business and to your life, and giving your all to your Self. You can do everything to succeed, but internally, if you don’t evolve sufficiently to where you know you’re showing up fully then that is the part that feels undeserving. Despite how much you have achieved.
What’s going on here? Often, it’s because of fear. A fear of up levelling your skills and abilities and truly showing up. Having the courage to evolve yourself to the next level required by your business or your life is uncomfortable. Dealing with difficult issues in the workplace or at home means feeling difficult emotions we would rather not feel. But in the end, that is all it is. A feeling. Having the courage to feel difficult emotions gives you the courage to take on whatever it is you want to achieve: firing staff, undertaking difficult negotiations, standing your ground – they all take courage.
Once I realised I do deserve my success, and my doubts were simply the result of internal feelings about not showing up fully for myself, I could focus on evolving myself to the next level whilst accepting and owning what I had achieved so far.
In our society, people socialised as women are often not taught to the same level as people socialised as men on how to be courageous. We’re not encouraged as much to try hard things. We are socialised to be more careful, be good, don’t be too loud or too much. And despite the level of independence for women achieved these days, there is still a part of our socialisation that allows us to believe a man will protect us and lead the way.
Learning to take courage is a skill we haven’t been taught well and so we stay small and undeserving. If you want to evolve yourself to become the best version of yourself, it’s going to mean learning how to have courage to do the things you want in life. But the effort is worth it. Showing up fully and learning to take action despite the fear will take you to a place of fulfillment, connection and trust within yourself. You won’t be an imposter because you are living as your true self.
Come and join me where you can learn to celebrate what you have created and achieved in your life and take the next step in evolving yourself to take courage so you can take on the next set of goals where you will truly feel you have earned them.