Who do you adore? Your partner, a movie star, Paris?

Did you include yourself on that list?

If you’re not on the list, take a moment to consider why. What is it about yourself that makes you believe you don’t belong there?

It is your thighs, your appearance, your inability to function like other people seem to in this world, your lack of self-confidence?

If you didn’t make the cut, you’re inferring that you are not worthy of it because there is something not good enough about yourself.

You probably look outward and expect your partner or friends or the number of likes you get on social media to be the ones to provide you with a sense of being loved and adored.

But what happens if your partner leaves. Or you leave. Or your friends move on, or no one likes you on social media anymore. You are left with no one to confirm you are ‘ok’.

Could you handle that?

There is a sense of liberation when you get to a place where you do not seek external validation and believe you are enough.

Another upside is that you attract people who believe the same and treat you accordingly.

Learning to adore yourself can start with what feels like a messy job.

But look at Paris, it’s not all croissants, crêpes and macaroons. There are some messy, dirty parts there for sure. But if you’re a Paris lover, you still love it as a whole, right?

And your new partner? Is amazing. He doesn’t stack the dishwasher quite like you do and has that quirky habit but that’s ok, you still adore him.

To adore yourself, you have to start by going into the attic and taking all of the cobwebs out. You have to peer into the nooks and crannies and shine a light on it all. You can’t adore yourself until you have done this work. You have to accept all the pieces of yourself first.

Click here to read about embracing all of your pieces.

Once you learn to adore yourself, a marvellous thing happens. You don’t expect anything less from anyone else.

You are worth attention.

Not in a diva look-at-me kind of way but in a quiet, internal knowing of who you are and what you have to offer.

Do you know what happens when you realise this? You start to think of yourself like a lover or dear friend would.

You’re in love with yourself. Infatuated. It’s like wow, this person is so special, I like everything about them, I want ALL of them in my life and I never want them to leave.

The feelings you normally generate thinking warmly about another person, place or thing are now are all directed at you.

You see how beautiful you are as a human on this planet. You want more. You want to spend time with YOU.

It’s the most loving, enveloping feeling.

And it can NEVER EVER go away, because you’re giving it to yourself and you’re always going to be there. You are not going anywhere. Ever.


What fulfillment!


The previous need to have others around to confirm your worth is hardly a concern anymore.

What can they give you that you’re not already giving yourself?


Do you know what that provides you with?


Freedom to choose how you live your life and with whom, freedom to trust yourself and believe in yourself without doubt, freedom to choose and never settle for anything less than what you are worth.

Life becomes a whole different experience when you get to the place where you put yourself on that list.

You’ll want to whisk yourself off to Paris, like a real lover and adore yourself.